Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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