Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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