I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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