It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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