I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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