There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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