Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
