Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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