Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
