so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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