Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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