If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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