I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
