mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
