shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
