I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
