so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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