Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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