butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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