Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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