walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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