He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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