Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
