please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize