bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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