That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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