Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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