Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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