come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
