she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
