carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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