you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
