I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
