i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize