i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
