chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
