The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
