Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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