Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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