So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
