At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
