God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
