If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
