just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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