It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
