brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
