i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Terrible idea I love it
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
