kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
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just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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