after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am available for nakedness
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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