Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
