I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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