It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
