I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize