They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
