now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
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Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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