apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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