a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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