honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
