Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
