The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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